How I Ally
Welcome to How I Ally—where we talk about the fun, lighthearted world of… postpartum recovery, traumatic birth, and infertility. Yeah, not exactly small talk at brunch. I sit down with experts who actually know what they’re talking about—because let’s be honest, Google can only take you so far. Each episode builds on interviews published in Authority Magazine, but now with real voices and real conversations—because reading is hard when you haven’t slept in weeks. But as it turns out, this isn’t a podcast about parenting. This is a podcast about transformation. This is a podcast about the unseen labor of being broken down, then re-building yourself from the rubble. This is a podcast about people who have created their own post-trauma growth, and now they are sharing their stories, reaching out as if to ask you directly, how can I be your ally? Subscribe now. Because this is how I ally. How will you?
Episodes

Tuesday Oct 01, 2024
Cali Sober Mom: How One Woman’s Twin Birth Experience Sparked a Movement
Tuesday Oct 01, 2024
Tuesday Oct 01, 2024
Monica Olano shares her incredible and traumatic journey of giving birth to twins, which ultimately led her to found Cali Sober Mom. She opens up about her struggles with postpartum trauma and how she turned to cannabis as a healthier coping mechanism, moving away from alcohol. Monica highlights the challenges of modern parenting and the societal stigmas surrounding cannabis use, particularly among mothers. Through her advocacy, she aims to empower women to speak out about their experiences and to challenge the norms that often leave them feeling unsupported. This honest conversation delves into vulnerability, healing, and the importance of creating a supportive community for mothers navigating similar paths.Monica Olano's heartfelt narrative brings to light the complexities of motherhood, particularly in the wake of her traumatic experience giving birth to twins. The conversation kicks off with Monica detailing her rapid journey through pregnancy, having welcomed three children within just 18 months. The emotional weight of this experience is palpable as she describes the unexpected onset of labor just days before her scheduled induction. This segment not only showcases the unpredictable nature of childbirth but also emphasizes the mental and emotional toll placed on mothers, often overlooked in discussions surrounding pregnancy and childbirth.As the dialogue progresses, Monica candidly discusses her struggles with postpartum trauma and how she turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism. This revelation serves as a critical turning point in her story, leading her to explore healthier alternatives, including cannabis. Through her journey to recovery, she founded Cali Sober Mom, a platform aimed at empowering other mothers to discuss their mental health openly and consider alternative coping strategies without the societal stigma attached to cannabis use. Monica's advocacy work centers on creating a supportive community where women can share their experiences and feel validated in their choices, challenging the pervasive 'mommy wine culture' that often glorifies alcohol consumption as a coping strategy.The episode also delves deep into the historical context of cannabis stigma, examining how societal perceptions have evolved and the ongoing challenges mothers face in discussing their choices. Monica illuminates the tension between traditional parenting norms and the need for modern mothers to seek support and understanding in their unique journeys. She underscores the importance of community solidarity among women, encouraging open conversations about mental health, parenting struggles, and the need to destigmatize cannabis use. By the episode's conclusion, audiences are left with a powerful message about the necessity of vulnerability, the importance of sharing personal stories, and the collective strength found in community support as mothers navigate the complexities of parenting and mental health together.Takeaways: Monica Olano's journey into motherhood was marked by the trauma of giving birth to twins, which transformed her perspective on self-care. The societal pressure on mothers to conform to alcohol culture often overlooks healthier coping alternatives like cannabis. Cali Sober Mom aims to empower women by destigmatizing cannabis use as a legitimate coping mechanism for postpartum trauma. Monica emphasizes the importance of sharing personal stories to create a supportive community for mothers experiencing similar challenges. The historical stigma surrounding cannabis use has roots in racism and misinformation, affecting perceptions even today. Advocating for cannabis legalization is crucial, as it aligns with the fight for women's rights and health autonomy. Links referenced in this episode:medium.com/authority-magazine/caring-for-myself-and-my-twins-monica-olano-of-cali-sober-mom-on-emotional-and-physical-recovery-c49b55e4f6b2Companies mentioned in this episode: Cali Sober Mom A special thank you to Vetted Dermlab. Backed by science. Created by dermatologists. Effective and ethical ingredients. No gimmicks or fads. Use code LUCINDAK15 for 15% off your purchase: go.shopmy.us/p-11688145 Another special thank you to KOZAKH Jewelry. Uniquely on trend designer jewelry that’s waterproof, tarnish-proof, and sustainably handmade in the USA. Use code LUCINDA25 for 25% off: https://shopmy.us/collections/1146101

Saturday Sep 21, 2024
The Hidden Burden: Bianca Sprague on Unpaid Care Work and Its Impact on Women
Saturday Sep 21, 2024
Saturday Sep 21, 2024
Bianca Sprague, founder of BeboMia, sheds light on the disempowerment and mental health challenges faced by mothers within a patriarchal and capitalist society. She emphasizes that the current healthcare and parenting systems often fail to support women, leading to widespread issues such as postpartum depression and PTSD. Through personal stories and research, Bianca reveals how motherhood is frequently equated with unpaid care work, which compounds feelings of inadequacy and isolation. She discusses the societal pressure to maintain a façade of perfection, the struggles with mental health, and the necessity for systemic change to empower mothers. With a call for open dialogue and support, Bianca advocates for a transformation in how we view and treat women's roles in both the family and society.I originally interviewed Bianca Sprague in Authority Magazine entitled What I Did to Heal After Postpartum Depression. Postpartum depression is a significant challenge that many new mothers face. The journey to recovery is unique for each individual, involving emotional resilience, self-care strategies, and often the support of healthcare professionals. Addressing postpartum depression is crucial for the well-being of both the mother and her family. Sharing these personal journeys can provide hope, support, and practical advice to others facing similar challenges. As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Bianca Sprague.Bianca Sprague, founder of bebo mia, has been a dedicated educator, author, activist, and doula since 2007. Passionate about accessible pre and postnatal care for marginalized communities, she advocates for mental wellness in families, drawing from her struggle for 2 years with undiagnosed postpartum depression and after the loss of her dad to suicide. Bianca champions reproductive health and justice, focusing on breaking down barriers for female and queer entrepreneurs and restoring joy, equity, and safety in family care through her expertise and innovative approaches.The complexities of motherhood and the societal structures that shape the experiences of mothers are critically examined by Bianca Sprague, founder of BeboMia. In this enlightening discussion, Bianca reveals her journey into entrepreneurship while navigating the challenges of postpartum life. She emphasizes the impact of a patriarchal and capitalist system that often leaves mothers feeling unsupported and overwhelmed. Bianca articulates the emotional and psychological toll that these societal pressures can have, leading to mental health issues such as postpartum depression and PTSD. Through her personal experiences and research insights, she advocates for a re-evaluation of how society views and supports mothers during and after childbirth.Bianca's conversation delves into the devaluation of care work, highlighting how the societal expectation that mothers will perform unpaid labor contributes to their sense of disempowerment. She discusses the trauma associated with childbirth and how it can affect parenting, creating a cycle of stress and anxiety that many women struggle to break. By sharing her insights, Bianca aims to foster a dialogue around the necessity of support systems that empower mothers rather than marginalize them. Her perspective challenges listeners to reflect on their own experiences and the collective need for systemic change that acknowledges the vital role of mothers in society.An essential theme of the episode is the critique of gender roles and the myth of equal partnership in parenting. Bianca presents compelling statistics that reveal the stark reality of unequal labor division within households, even among couples who consider themselves progressive. She argues that this disparity not only affects the emotional well-being of mothers but also perpetuates societal norms that undervalue their contributions. The episode concludes with a poignant reminder of the importance of open dialogues about motherhood, advocating for a shift in how we perceive and value the work of mothers, ultimately aiming for a more equitable and supportive environment for all caregivers.Takeaways: Bianca Sprague emphasizes the need for systemic change in healthcare to empower mothers. The patriarchal system significantly impacts women's mental health and their experiences of motherhood. Trauma from childbirth can lead to long-lasting effects on parenting and mental health. Women often internalize feelings of failure in both birth and breastfeeding, affecting their self-worth. The division of labor in parenting often remains unequal, perpetuating disempowerment of mothers. Motherhood is often viewed as unpaid care work, leading to mental health issues like PTSD. A special thank you to Vetted Dermlab. Backed by science. Created by dermatologists. Effective and ethical ingredients. No gimmicks or fads. Use code LUCINDAK15 for 15% off your purchase: go.shopmy.us/p-11688145 Another special thank you to KOZAKH Jewelry. Uniquely on trend designer jewelry that’s waterproof, tarnish-proof, and sustainably handmade in the USA. Use code LUCINDA25 for 25% off: https://shopmy.us/collections/1146101