How I Ally
Welcome to How I Ally—where we talk about the fun, lighthearted world of… postpartum recovery, traumatic birth, and infertility. Yeah, not exactly small talk at brunch. I sit down with experts who actually know what they’re talking about—because let’s be honest, Google can only take you so far. Each episode builds on interviews published in Authority Magazine, but now with real voices and real conversations—because reading is hard when you haven’t slept in weeks. But as it turns out, this isn’t a podcast about parenting. This is a podcast about transformation. This is a podcast about the unseen labor of being broken down, then re-building yourself from the rubble. This is a podcast about people who have created their own post-trauma growth, and now they are sharing their stories, reaching out as if to ask you directly, how can I be your ally? Subscribe now. Because this is how I ally. How will you?
Episodes

Thursday Oct 10, 2024
The Reality of Motherhood: Insights on Matrescence and Mental Health
Thursday Oct 10, 2024
Thursday Oct 10, 2024
Elizabeth shares her transformative journey from a private practice counselor to a dedicated motherhood coach, emphasizing the importance of addressing mental health struggles in motherhood. She candidly recounts her own challenges with hyperemesis gravidarum during pregnancy and the severe postpartum depression and anxiety that followed, highlighting how these experiences fueled her passion to support other mothers facing similar issues. Elizabeth advocates for breaking the societal pressures surrounding motherhood and stresses the need for open conversations about the difficulties many mothers encounter. She discusses the concept of matrescence, the profound changes that occur during the transition into motherhood, and the importance of building a supportive community. Throughout the conversation, Elizabeth inspires listeners to seek help, acknowledge their vulnerabilities, and prioritize their mental well-being in their motherhood journey.Elizabeth's transformation from a private practice counselor to a motherhood coach exemplifies a journey marked by resilience, vulnerability, and the power of community. Her candid recounting of pregnancy challenges, particularly hyperemesis gravidarum, sets the stage for a deeper exploration of maternal mental health. As she navigates the tumultuous waters of postpartum depression and anxiety, Elizabeth sheds light on the often unspoken struggles that many mothers face. This episode reveals the critical importance of acknowledging mental health challenges and the necessity of seeking help, not just for oneself but for the collective well-being of all mothers. The discussion also touches on societal expectations and the pressures that accompany motherhood. Elizabeth advocates for breaking the silence surrounding these issues, emphasizing that the taboo nature of maternal mental health discussions can lead to feelings of isolation and shame. With a focus on fostering community, she encourages mothers to support one another, creating a safe space for open dialogue about the realities of motherhood. Elizabeth's insights challenge the conventional narrative of motherhood, urging a redefinition that embraces vulnerability as a strength rather than a flaw. Central to her message is the concept of matrescence, which Elizabeth articulates as a vital framework for understanding the profound changes mothers undergo during this life transition. She highlights how recognizing and normalizing these experiences can empower mothers to navigate the emotional complexities of their journeys. By integrating principles of positive psychology into her coaching practice, Elizabeth aims to equip mothers with the tools they need to cultivate resilience and foster mental well-being. Her passionate advocacy for maternal mental health serves as a reminder that every mother's journey is unique, and by sharing their stories, women can find strength and solidarity in their shared experiences.Takeaways: Elizabeth's journey into motherhood was marked by serious challenges, including hyperemesis gravidarum and postpartum depression. Acknowledging mental health struggles is crucial for new mothers and can lead to recovery. Elizabeth emphasizes the importance of building a supportive community for mothers during postpartum. The societal pressures on mothers often prevent them from seeking help for their struggles. Matrescence is a vital concept that highlights the transformation mothers undergo after childbirth. Positive psychology techniques, such as gratitude journaling, can significantly aid in mental wellness for moms. A special thank you to Vetted Dermlab. Backed by science. Created by dermatologists. Effective and ethical ingredients. No gimmicks or fads. Use code LUCINDAK15 for 15% off your purchase: go.shopmy.us/p-11688145 Another special thank you to KOZAKH Jewelry. Uniquely on trend designer jewelry that’s waterproof, tarnish-proof, and sustainably handmade in the USA. Use code LUCINDA25 for 25% off: https://shopmy.us/collections/1146101

Monday Oct 07, 2024
Can Acupuncture Improve Your Fertility?
Monday Oct 07, 2024
Monday Oct 07, 2024
Dr. Susan Fox shares her extensive knowledge on enhancing fertility through acupuncture and lifestyle changes, emphasizing the importance of holistic health in improving reproductive outcomes. With over 23 years of experience, Dr. Fox explains how acupuncture can significantly impact IVF success rates and discusses the vital role of overall health in the fertility journey. She highlights the necessity of addressing toxin exposure and adopting healthier lifestyle choices, including dietary modifications tailored to different phases of the menstrual cycle. Dr. Fox introduces her comprehensive fertility program, which combines acupoint stimulation, mind-body meditations, and nutritional guidance to empower women and couples. Additionally, she discusses her upcoming summit, aimed at fostering collaboration among various health professionals to provide the best care and support for those navigating fertility challenges.Dr. Susan Fox, a distinguished practitioner of acupuncture and Chinese medicine in the San Francisco Bay Area, has dedicated her professional life to enhancing fertility for women and couples. With over 23 years of experience, Dr. Fox shares her insights into how acupuncture can significantly improve outcomes for those undergoing IVF and other fertility treatments. Her journey began fortuitously next to an IVF center, where she quickly learned about the profound impact that simple acupuncture treatments could have when administered just before and after embryo transfers. Through her extensive practice, Dr. Fox has developed a holistic approach that not only addresses the immediate needs of her patients but also emphasizes the importance of overall health and well-being in the journey to conception.Central to Dr. Fox's philosophy is the belief that improving reproductive health requires a multifaceted approach. She explains that her current practice involves a series of at least nine acupuncture treatments leading up to an IVF retrieval, alongside nutritional guidance and lifestyle changes. This comprehensive strategy aims to enhance the quality of reproductive health over time, particularly focusing on the three-month folliculogenesis cycle that influences egg health. Dr. Fox passionately discusses the detrimental effects of environmental toxins and lifestyle choices on fertility, urging individuals to adopt healthier habits and make informed choices about the products they use and consume. She highlights the necessity of increasing awareness and taking actionable steps toward better health practices, positioning herself as a guide for those navigating the complexities of fertility.In addition to her clinical work, Dr. Fox emphasizes the emotional aspects of the fertility journey, acknowledging that it can be as stressful as dealing with serious health issues. To support her patients, she incorporates mind-body techniques, including guided meditations and qigong exercises, into her fertility program. This integration aims to cultivate a sense of empowerment and understanding of one’s body throughout the menstrual cycle. Dr. Fox is also excited to announce her upcoming summit, which will bring together various fertility specialists to foster collaboration and improve patient outcomes. By uniting professionals from different fields, she hopes to create a supportive network that empowers individuals facing fertility challenges, emphasizing the importance of a holistic approach to reproductive health.Takeaways: Dr. Susan Fox emphasizes the importance of lifestyle changes and reducing toxin exposure for improving fertility outcomes. Acupuncture significantly impacts IVF success rates, enhancing the overall quality of reproductive health. Her comprehensive fertility program includes acupoint stimulation, dietary guidance, and mind-body meditations tailored to menstrual cycles. Dr. Fox advocates for awareness and actionable steps to improve health and fertility for women and couples. The upcoming summit aims to unite various health professionals to support fertility patients effectively. Incorporating organic products and healthy habits can lead to better fertility outcomes and overall health. Links referenced in this episode:yourfertilityquiz.comCompanies mentioned in this episode: Costco Target Walmart A special thank you to Vetted Dermlab. Backed by science. Created by dermatologists. Effective and ethical ingredients. No gimmicks or fads. Use code LUCINDAK15 for 15% off your purchase: go.shopmy.us/p-11688145 Another special thank you to KOZAKH Jewelry. Uniquely on trend designer jewelry that’s waterproof, tarnish-proof, and sustainably handmade in the USA. Use code LUCINDA25 for 25% off: https://shopmy.us/collections/1146101

Wednesday Oct 02, 2024
Wednesday Oct 02, 2024
Navigating post-adoption depression can be a challenging and isolating experience for many mothers. Dawn Friedman, a clinical counselor and mother, shares her personal journey of grappling with this condition after adopting her second child. She discusses the emotional complexities of open adoption, the grief involved for both the birth mother and herself, and the importance of building a support network during difficult times. Dawn emphasizes the recurring themes in parenting and the necessity of finding one's unique path as a parent, regardless of whether the child is adopted or biological. This heartfelt conversation offers valuable insights for all parents, underscoring the need for community and understanding in the ongoing journey of parenthood.Dawn Friedman, a clinical counselor and mother, opens up about her deeply personal journey through post-adoption depression following the adoption of her second child. She reflects on the emotional complexities of adopting her daughter, Maddie, while also being a mother to her son, who is seven years older. Dawn shares her struggles with bonding and the challenges of navigating an open adoption, where she maintained a relationship with Maddie's birth mother, Jessica. The episode delves into the emotional turmoil that can accompany the adoption process, particularly the grief experienced by both the adoptive parents and the birth mother. Dawn emphasizes the importance of support systems for parents, highlighting how a solid community can help mitigate feelings of isolation and shame that often accompany mental health struggles during parenting. She candidly discusses the messy realities of motherhood, including feelings of guilt and the struggle to connect with a child while grappling with the loss felt by the birth mother. This heartfelt conversation provides valuable insights for all parents, particularly those embarking on their own adoption journeys, emphasizing that parenting is a continuous learning process, marked by love, loss, and the need for understanding.Takeaways: Dawn Friedman shares her personal experience with post-adoption depression after adopting her daughter. The adoption process can be emotionally complex, requiring support for both parents and children. Open adoption presents its own challenges, including navigating the feelings of loss and grief. Motherhood is a continuous journey of learning and adapting to each child's unique needs. Building a community of support is vital for parents coping with mental health issues. Recognizing touchpoints in parenting helps identify recurring challenges that arise at different developmental stages. A special thank you to Vetted Dermlab. Backed by science. Created by dermatologists. Effective and ethical ingredients. No gimmicks or fads. Use code LUCINDAK15 for 15% off your purchase: go.shopmy.us/p-11688145 Another special thank you to KOZAKH Jewelry. Uniquely on trend designer jewelry that’s waterproof, tarnish-proof, and sustainably handmade in the USA. Use code LUCINDA25 for 25% off: https://shopmy.us/collections/1146101

Tuesday Oct 01, 2024
Cali Sober Mom: How One Woman’s Twin Birth Experience Sparked a Movement
Tuesday Oct 01, 2024
Tuesday Oct 01, 2024
Monica Olano shares her incredible and traumatic journey of giving birth to twins, which ultimately led her to found Cali Sober Mom. She opens up about her struggles with postpartum trauma and how she turned to cannabis as a healthier coping mechanism, moving away from alcohol. Monica highlights the challenges of modern parenting and the societal stigmas surrounding cannabis use, particularly among mothers. Through her advocacy, she aims to empower women to speak out about their experiences and to challenge the norms that often leave them feeling unsupported. This honest conversation delves into vulnerability, healing, and the importance of creating a supportive community for mothers navigating similar paths.Monica Olano's heartfelt narrative brings to light the complexities of motherhood, particularly in the wake of her traumatic experience giving birth to twins. The conversation kicks off with Monica detailing her rapid journey through pregnancy, having welcomed three children within just 18 months. The emotional weight of this experience is palpable as she describes the unexpected onset of labor just days before her scheduled induction. This segment not only showcases the unpredictable nature of childbirth but also emphasizes the mental and emotional toll placed on mothers, often overlooked in discussions surrounding pregnancy and childbirth.As the dialogue progresses, Monica candidly discusses her struggles with postpartum trauma and how she turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism. This revelation serves as a critical turning point in her story, leading her to explore healthier alternatives, including cannabis. Through her journey to recovery, she founded Cali Sober Mom, a platform aimed at empowering other mothers to discuss their mental health openly and consider alternative coping strategies without the societal stigma attached to cannabis use. Monica's advocacy work centers on creating a supportive community where women can share their experiences and feel validated in their choices, challenging the pervasive 'mommy wine culture' that often glorifies alcohol consumption as a coping strategy.The episode also delves deep into the historical context of cannabis stigma, examining how societal perceptions have evolved and the ongoing challenges mothers face in discussing their choices. Monica illuminates the tension between traditional parenting norms and the need for modern mothers to seek support and understanding in their unique journeys. She underscores the importance of community solidarity among women, encouraging open conversations about mental health, parenting struggles, and the need to destigmatize cannabis use. By the episode's conclusion, audiences are left with a powerful message about the necessity of vulnerability, the importance of sharing personal stories, and the collective strength found in community support as mothers navigate the complexities of parenting and mental health together.Takeaways: Monica Olano's journey into motherhood was marked by the trauma of giving birth to twins, which transformed her perspective on self-care. The societal pressure on mothers to conform to alcohol culture often overlooks healthier coping alternatives like cannabis. Cali Sober Mom aims to empower women by destigmatizing cannabis use as a legitimate coping mechanism for postpartum trauma. Monica emphasizes the importance of sharing personal stories to create a supportive community for mothers experiencing similar challenges. The historical stigma surrounding cannabis use has roots in racism and misinformation, affecting perceptions even today. Advocating for cannabis legalization is crucial, as it aligns with the fight for women's rights and health autonomy. Links referenced in this episode:medium.com/authority-magazine/caring-for-myself-and-my-twins-monica-olano-of-cali-sober-mom-on-emotional-and-physical-recovery-c49b55e4f6b2Companies mentioned in this episode: Cali Sober Mom A special thank you to Vetted Dermlab. Backed by science. Created by dermatologists. Effective and ethical ingredients. No gimmicks or fads. Use code LUCINDAK15 for 15% off your purchase: go.shopmy.us/p-11688145 Another special thank you to KOZAKH Jewelry. Uniquely on trend designer jewelry that’s waterproof, tarnish-proof, and sustainably handmade in the USA. Use code LUCINDA25 for 25% off: https://shopmy.us/collections/1146101

Saturday Sep 21, 2024
The Hidden Burden: Bianca Sprague on Unpaid Care Work and Its Impact on Women
Saturday Sep 21, 2024
Saturday Sep 21, 2024
Bianca Sprague, founder of BeboMia, sheds light on the disempowerment and mental health challenges faced by mothers within a patriarchal and capitalist society. She emphasizes that the current healthcare and parenting systems often fail to support women, leading to widespread issues such as postpartum depression and PTSD. Through personal stories and research, Bianca reveals how motherhood is frequently equated with unpaid care work, which compounds feelings of inadequacy and isolation. She discusses the societal pressure to maintain a façade of perfection, the struggles with mental health, and the necessity for systemic change to empower mothers. With a call for open dialogue and support, Bianca advocates for a transformation in how we view and treat women's roles in both the family and society.I originally interviewed Bianca Sprague in Authority Magazine entitled What I Did to Heal After Postpartum Depression. Postpartum depression is a significant challenge that many new mothers face. The journey to recovery is unique for each individual, involving emotional resilience, self-care strategies, and often the support of healthcare professionals. Addressing postpartum depression is crucial for the well-being of both the mother and her family. Sharing these personal journeys can provide hope, support, and practical advice to others facing similar challenges. As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Bianca Sprague.Bianca Sprague, founder of bebo mia, has been a dedicated educator, author, activist, and doula since 2007. Passionate about accessible pre and postnatal care for marginalized communities, she advocates for mental wellness in families, drawing from her struggle for 2 years with undiagnosed postpartum depression and after the loss of her dad to suicide. Bianca champions reproductive health and justice, focusing on breaking down barriers for female and queer entrepreneurs and restoring joy, equity, and safety in family care through her expertise and innovative approaches.The complexities of motherhood and the societal structures that shape the experiences of mothers are critically examined by Bianca Sprague, founder of BeboMia. In this enlightening discussion, Bianca reveals her journey into entrepreneurship while navigating the challenges of postpartum life. She emphasizes the impact of a patriarchal and capitalist system that often leaves mothers feeling unsupported and overwhelmed. Bianca articulates the emotional and psychological toll that these societal pressures can have, leading to mental health issues such as postpartum depression and PTSD. Through her personal experiences and research insights, she advocates for a re-evaluation of how society views and supports mothers during and after childbirth.Bianca's conversation delves into the devaluation of care work, highlighting how the societal expectation that mothers will perform unpaid labor contributes to their sense of disempowerment. She discusses the trauma associated with childbirth and how it can affect parenting, creating a cycle of stress and anxiety that many women struggle to break. By sharing her insights, Bianca aims to foster a dialogue around the necessity of support systems that empower mothers rather than marginalize them. Her perspective challenges listeners to reflect on their own experiences and the collective need for systemic change that acknowledges the vital role of mothers in society.An essential theme of the episode is the critique of gender roles and the myth of equal partnership in parenting. Bianca presents compelling statistics that reveal the stark reality of unequal labor division within households, even among couples who consider themselves progressive. She argues that this disparity not only affects the emotional well-being of mothers but also perpetuates societal norms that undervalue their contributions. The episode concludes with a poignant reminder of the importance of open dialogues about motherhood, advocating for a shift in how we perceive and value the work of mothers, ultimately aiming for a more equitable and supportive environment for all caregivers.Takeaways: Bianca Sprague emphasizes the need for systemic change in healthcare to empower mothers. The patriarchal system significantly impacts women's mental health and their experiences of motherhood. Trauma from childbirth can lead to long-lasting effects on parenting and mental health. Women often internalize feelings of failure in both birth and breastfeeding, affecting their self-worth. The division of labor in parenting often remains unequal, perpetuating disempowerment of mothers. Motherhood is often viewed as unpaid care work, leading to mental health issues like PTSD. A special thank you to Vetted Dermlab. Backed by science. Created by dermatologists. Effective and ethical ingredients. No gimmicks or fads. Use code LUCINDAK15 for 15% off your purchase: go.shopmy.us/p-11688145 Another special thank you to KOZAKH Jewelry. Uniquely on trend designer jewelry that’s waterproof, tarnish-proof, and sustainably handmade in the USA. Use code LUCINDA25 for 25% off: https://shopmy.us/collections/1146101